Um, this guy is awesome. So is the song. Enjoy!

Stumbled upon this little guy while I was walking home from work. Stopped and watched him eat (probably kind of rude) for a few minutes. I was amazed at how close he let me get to him; even more amazed when he let me touch him! I petted him (briefly) and then he flew off to the next flower. It was magical.

depression sux

I think I was the last person in the world to watch Girl, Interrupted. Now that I've caught up with everyone else, here are my thoughts.

I am glad the movie showed the salty side of mental disorder, and how a lot of times, though not easily or fully, it can be controlled. In the beginning, Winona Ryder and Angelina Jolie's characters' disorders made them dark and sexy and smart and unique. You begin to think that anyone who knows how the world really works should have a mental illness. As the movie progresses, though, you begin to realize how god damn consuming mental illness is, and how it can just completely take you over if you don't put it in its place. And then you'll miss out on the whole fucking world. Does that make you cool and dark and edgy? Or does that just make you a coward?

Winona's character ends up putting her foot down. As her therapist, played by Whoopi Goldberg (yes!), says, she has to make a choice between letting her eccentricities rule her, or channeling them in a way that will let her offer something to society.

Angelina's character doesn't, and she ends up in a straightjacket. She's still damn beautiful and has a lot of great ideas in her head, but they're suffocated in that straightjacket.

Of course, in certain cases and with certain disorders, where reality is continuously blurred, such a choice may not be possible. But sometimes, I believe it is. I'm nowhere near an authority on these things, but as a sufferer of depression and anxiety myself, I know how tempting it is sometimes to just jump down the rabbit hole. That's why this blog is so great for me -- it helps me get some of that energy out. It lets me empty a bit, and then I can face the world.

*photo credit here and here

office artwork

...it's a little slow here today.

Good thing I have multi-textured office supplies and "Tiny Furniture" on Netflix to keep me stimulated.

i love people who challenge definitions...

like the man on the Metro today, wearing daffodil colored glasses and a daffodil polo shirt, an even tan, and a curly mop of gray hair... man, right?... and then i looked into his soft eyes and something about the way he carried himself, the light tilt of the head, maybe, and i wasn't sure. but then i decided, it doesn't really matter. what a striking human.

then i remember what my yoga teacher said last night about expectations. and how the source of much of the displeasure in our lives is wanting things to be different than they are, expecting something and not getting it. and how instead of getting all flustered and angry that things aren't the way we want them to be, we should try to learn from it, to really take it in -- what's really going on now, around me, and what can it teach me? and how that doesn't mean settling -- of course there are always some concrete steps you can take to change some things you dislike, but many things you just can't, and there are forces larger than you, and you know, you can just miss the whole darn forest for the trees.

and so when i sit here at my desk, and get bored to the point of tears and feel useless and uninspired and get all mad at myself for not being where i should be right now... and begin falling head-first into the awful trap of envying others whose paths seem more appealing (at least on the surface)... i tell myself to breathe. look around me. appreciate the people here. use the time. appreciate the pace. the security. accept the education your situation is giving you. it as unique as any path, as unique as any human, and maybe not always what you expect it to be. but it can still show you something.

hey look! i'm over there!

The wonderful Karissa of tragic & lovely asked me last week if I'd like to participate in her Woman Wednesday's column, where she asks fellow bloggers to expound their thoughts on an issue affecting the lives of the superior sex. (Ok, so that's very much in my own words, but this is my blog, so sue me.) Heck yes, I was interested!

My assignment was to tackle the question, "What is true feminism?" Wow -- kinda heavy! It was awesome to finally set aside time to pick apart a topic that I consider so relevant and meaningful to my life. Check it out here! And thank you, Karissa, for such a great opportunity to share my thoughts! Yay for awesome blog friends!

preach it, mia

Great quote, from one of my favorite movies ever. Can you name that flick? (5,000 cool points to the first who can!**)


* Photo credit here
** Cool points are not redeemable anywhere, for anything. Except in my heart of hearts. If that means something to you, then, congratulations :).