i've never wanted to be famous
i never wanted to be famous
but my friends and relatives always say, don't forget me
when you're famous because
apparently if you are smart and talented, well, then your desire should be
to be famous. i am smart and talented
and miserable in the spotlight and would rather
hide under a rock. i am smart and talented. and maybe because of that i see
that the spotlight isn't forever, the spotlight goes out, the brighter light
is in heaven and you get there by doing good
things and relishing in simple pleasures nice pleasures and creating them for others not by having your name published on stupid stories about hamburgers
or the best place to spend your money -- because two days later who
cares about these things, 2 days later it is irrelevant, meaningless, but the light of heaven is never meaningless, the light of good, true, selfless things never dims and is all that is wished for by the purest men.

i keep imagining i'll wake up one dreamy saturday to your knock on my door, hey
it's been a while, then i'll make us pancakes. and over lots of syrup and butter we'll talk about what we're missing, what we're not. and whether you'll have to knock tomorrow, or just come on in.


[i know this is a dream because you do not like pancakes because you do not like sweets. you would like them even less with lots of butterandsyrup.]

peel the days off like
paint chips from a huge wall painfully
with my nails and they
leave colored residue
underneath
that i can't get out no matter
how many times i wash

no matter


how hard i scrub