like the man on the Metro today,
wearing daffodil colored glasses and a daffodil polo shirt, an even tan, and a
curly mop of gray hair... man,
right?... and then i looked into his soft eyes and something about the way he
carried himself, the light tilt of the head, maybe, and i wasn't sure. but then
i decided, it doesn't really matter. what a
striking human.
then i remember what my yoga teacher said last night about expectations. and how the source of much of the displeasure in our lives is wanting things to be different than they are, expecting something and not getting it. and how instead of getting all flustered and angry that things aren't the way we want them to be, we should try to learn from it, to really take it in -- what's really going on now, around me, and what can it teach me? and how that doesn't mean settling -- of course there are always some concrete steps you can take to change some things you dislike, but many things you just can't, and there are forces larger than you, and you know, you can just miss the whole darn forest for the trees.
and so when i sit here at my desk, and get bored to the point of tears and feel useless and uninspired and get all mad at myself for not being where i should be right now... and begin falling head-first into the awful trap of envying others whose paths seem more appealing (at least on the surface)... i tell myself to breathe. look around me. appreciate the people here. use the time. appreciate the pace. the security. accept the education your situation is giving you. it as unique as any path, as unique as any human, and maybe not always what you expect it to be. but it can still show you something.
then i remember what my yoga teacher said last night about expectations. and how the source of much of the displeasure in our lives is wanting things to be different than they are, expecting something and not getting it. and how instead of getting all flustered and angry that things aren't the way we want them to be, we should try to learn from it, to really take it in -- what's really going on now, around me, and what can it teach me? and how that doesn't mean settling -- of course there are always some concrete steps you can take to change some things you dislike, but many things you just can't, and there are forces larger than you, and you know, you can just miss the whole darn forest for the trees.
and so when i sit here at my desk, and get bored to the point of tears and feel useless and uninspired and get all mad at myself for not being where i should be right now... and begin falling head-first into the awful trap of envying others whose paths seem more appealing (at least on the surface)... i tell myself to breathe. look around me. appreciate the people here. use the time. appreciate the pace. the security. accept the education your situation is giving you. it as unique as any path, as unique as any human, and maybe not always what you expect it to be. but it can still show you something.
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