and here we go

lately i am having a hard time remembering
whether i took my medicine. then i start to feel a bit
funny, and i don't know if it's just normal-tired funny, or not-normal-didn't-take-your-medicine funny, so then i worry, oh no, maybe i didn't take my medicine today,
which makes me feel antsy -- which is the opposite of the point
of my medicine, which is to be calm -- and my only options are a) don't take my medicine, and antsy-antsy-antsy and worry about everything or
b) take it and maybe have 80 miligrams, instead of 40, of this numbing potion swirling in my blood, and be cool as a cucumber (dead as a vegetable).
super-alive or super-dead.